


Lover of Mine

by slightlyagitated



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Dead Neil Perry (Dead Poets Society), Fellas is it Gay to be In Love with your Dead Best Friend, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Gay and Depressed, I'm Sorry, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, My First AO3 Post, just guys being dudes, neil perry deserves better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29221527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlyagitated/pseuds/slightlyagitated
Summary: Todd's been writing letters to Neil to cope with his death. It's now summer, and Todd's been too busy working on the internship his father had gotten him, so it had been a while since his last letter, however, he finally writes one and gets a special visit.
Relationships: Todd Anderson/Neil Perry
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Lover of Mine

_"Hello, Neil._

  
_It's been a while since I've written anything to you._

_Thinking about you makes me awfully sad, who knew that death would have that kind of effect on people?_

_I hope you're doing well, wherever you are. Sometimes I imagine you filling out Mad Libs with Dickens or arguing with Shakespeare over his plays._  
_Is Shakespeare handsome? Should I be jealous?_

_Weirdly enough, almost everyone has found someone. Knox, of course, has Chris. They've actually managed to last for a while now. Who knew?_  
_Charlie's actually been seeing Ginny Danburry. Apparently, it was 'love at first sight'._  
_As for me?_

_I still haven't been able to forget about you. And I probably never._  
_Even pollen reminds me of you. What have you done to me?_  
_You and your damn allergies._

  
_Love, Todd."_

  
Todd stared down at the paper in front of him, looking at the words he had just written, reading them over and over again. Todd knew that he looked like shit, his hands stained by black ink and the color of his under eyes was a mixture between dark purple and red. Even his hair, he got cut every month, was no up to the back of his neck, causing extreme discomfort during the hot, sweaty nights, another reason he barely slept anymore.

But as he leaned back on his chair, Todd felt his heavy eyelids close, his breath steadying as he was slowly drifting off to sleep.

  
"Wake up, dummy."

Startled awake, Todd opened his eyes as his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his throat.

"Great, I'm hearing things now..." The boy said, ruffling through his scruffy hair

"Ooh, what are you hearing?"

Todd turned around, once again startled by Neil's voice, only to see the brown-haired boy standing there with a wide grin on his face, his sweater untucked and hands crossed over his chest. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

He stood there, frozen in shock. It must have been some sort of hallucination caused by lack of sleep. So, Todd did the only reasonable thing that came to mind. He hit himself in the face, yet Neil was still there, except now the boy was kneeling in laughter.

"I come back from the dead and don't even get a hug, what kind of coming-home party is this?"

Todd felt his eyes stinging as he launched himself at the boy, wrapping his arms around Neil. It was strange how it could even smell Neil as if the cigarette smoke was stuck to his clothes. Todd felt Neil's arms on his torso, pulling him tighter to his body.

It had been over a minute since he wrapped his hands around Neil, but Todd still felt like it had lasted mere seconds. He didn't care if this was a weird dream, or a hallucination- because Todd was holding Neil in his arms. His Neil.

When Todd reluctantly pulled away, he could see that Neil was still wearing the same shit-eating grin as earlier.

"What are you so smiley about?"

"You." Neil chuckled as if it had been obvious. "You have no idea how boring it is there. The only thing keeping me going," Neil pulled out a letter, as if out of nowhere "are these."

"You're getting my letters?"

"Of course."

Todd's mouth was slightly agape as he stared at the boy in front of him, getting the sudden urge to touch him.

And so he did.

Neil froze when he felt Todd's palm on the skin on his cheek.

"You're cold."

"Of course, I'm dead."

Todd chuckled at his joke, pulling his hand away from Neil, only to have the boy take hold of his wrist, bringing Todd's hand back to his cheek with a desperate look.

"I miss you, Neil."

"I miss you too, Todd."

"You know, every time I read Shakespeare, you're the only thing on my mind. How the hell am I supposed to tell why Katherina suddenly took a liking to Petruchio when all I can see is you in your crown."

"Well, I'm glad I've left a lasting impression."

"Stop trying to be funny."

"Hey, you're the smart one. Let me be the comedic genius." Neil said, kissing the palm of Todd's hand.

"When do you have to go back?"

Neil looked down at his feet with a bitter smile. "Tomorrow."

"Can I-"

"No. It's a one-time thing."

"God, this sucks." Todd laughed "Where even are you?"

"Yeah, I'm not legally allowed to tell you that." Neil laughed.

Standing in silence for a moment, the two looked at each other, and Todd felt content for the first time since Neil's death.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" Neil suddenly asked

"My fan's broken."

And out of nowhere, Todd felt a breeze of cold air hit his back, making him shiver from the sudden contact. When Todd turned around, his fan was in perfect condition.

"You're welcome."

When he turned back around, Neil was no longer standing in front of him, but instead lying on Todd's bed, wearing his glasses and reading the book that Todd kept on his nightstand for when he actually managed to drag himself to bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Reading."

Dragging himself next to his bed, Todd kneeled down, looking at Neil, whose eyes were scanning over the words in the book. Sighing, Todd pushed the book down, and Neil's attention was now on him.

"What's wrong, buttercup?" Neil raised his eyebrows in amusement over Todd's growing frustration.

"I never thought I'd see you again."

Taking his glasses off, Neil finally wiped the grin off his face and looked Todd dead in the eye.

"Me neither. I thought I'd have to make a deal with the Devil to see you again."

"You-"

"I didn't, but I would've. I would've done anything if it meant I could talk to you one last time."

Todd chuckled, but Neil placed his finger below the boy's chin, bringing Todd's face to his level.

"I'm serious, Todd."

"I know you are."'

Neil pulled Todd closer to him using his finger, but it seemed that Todd was more than eager to do so as he quickly placed his lips on Neil's, taking in the boy's scent as he kissed him. Neil's hands had moved down to the other boy's torso as he pulled Todd up onto his own bed, still keeping up the kiss.

Heavy breaths were taken by both of them when Todd finally pulled away, looking at Neil, completely mesmerized.

"I love you, Neil."

"I love you too, Todd."

Laying down next to Neil, Todd still kept his eyes on the boy as his breath was steadying.

"I'm never going to see you again, am I?" Todd said

"No. But I'll still read every one of your letters."

Slowly closing his eyes, Todd felt Neil's arms wrap around him as Neil pulled him into an embrace, his cold arms closing around Todd.

"Hey, Todd..."

The boy had almost gotten to sleep when he heard Neil's voice.

"Yeah?"

"It's funny... they say that every great artist has one, special love... I'm glad that for me, it was you."

Todd smiled to himself, kissing the back of Neil's hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi?
> 
> This is the first thing I'm publishing on this site sO I really hope it didn't turn out to be an actual trainwreck,,, please tell me what you thought about it!!!


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